but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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