So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
