The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
