bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
