Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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