he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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