Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
