well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
You made out with two different species that night
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
