Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
