just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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