You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
