if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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