my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
