Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Randomize
