i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Randomize
