1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
