I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Let's paint friendship bongs
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
