while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
