PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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