Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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