You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
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