So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
