I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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