I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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