porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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