I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
