My nipple is on Facebook.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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