Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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