Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
