Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Randomize
