I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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