yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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