We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
