His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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