its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
