And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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