Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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