ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
