I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
