if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
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