Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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