i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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