Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
