he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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