some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
