those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
