Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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