we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
