i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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