Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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