The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
